Home is where the heart is... a cliche quote with undeniable plausibility. A frequent question I'm asked is 'do you miss home?' It appears to come as a great revelation when my answer is a confident no. Often I'm left pondering my own answer, why don't I miss home and is it egotistic not to? Travelling as an au pair for coming up three years, I have developed a few explanations to this non sensical answer. The fundamental reason being that home is where the heart is.
Transferring into a new family as an au pair I now have the confidence to lay it all on the table from the initial interview when a recurrent question is 'what are your expectations?' My response is a very frank, I'm arriving to your home but I want this to be my home too. Not only do I want to be relaxed in their house but they need to be comfortable in having me in their space too. This ensures that both parties are content and means irrelevant to the country, I have a secure home base. Elaborating on this statement it entails to me that outside of work hours I ought to have the freedom to do my own thing weather it be exploring or bumming out around the pad. Essentially I want to do everything, within reason, that I would in my own home. Majority of families are relieved to hear these as my expectations as it deciphers that nothing will change for them. They just have another big kid in the house to help out with their children. I'm like a fairy godmother who eats their food.
Another crucial factor is making friends. I believe the people throughout my travels have enhanced the places and experiences. Overseas gaining friendships is an effortless and quick task. Probably because I'm super cool but I base this primarily on the fact that when abroad you automatically share a common interest - you're both suffering a cold hard case of the travel bug. Being an au pair opens you up to a network of individuals via social media. A straightfoward search on Facebook for 'au pair's in ---' directs you to a variety of groups and pages that advertise events from pub crawls to day trips. In Austria I met another au pair for coffee, that same day we booked tickets to Switzerland to celebrate my birthday and two days later we were carrying each other into 2019 at a New Year's party. Because of the time difference to New Zealand (12 hours) the new friends made are relevant to the occurrences happening in my life. Instead of updating friends back home on three weeks of my non existent life gossip for one punch line, it's easier to send a voice note to those in the same time zone. While some contact has dropped from over the ditch I still catch up with my main squeeze's on the regular.
Modern technology has certainly worked in my favour. Mum likes to think she's been travelling with me. Using FaceTime together we ventured through the markets in Florence, she's waited with me at multiple airports and been my coffee date on multiple occasions. Being based literally on the other side of the world I admittedly converse with my family more frequently than when I was on home turf. This ongoing communication and support contributes to keeping the home sickness at bay. I have only experienced this a handful of times and it is often initiated not from missing home but wishing I could share an experience with family or a friend. Through the phenomenon of the tech world my Dad's visited the Eiffel Tower, my brother the Swiss Alps, and sisters the historic structures of Rome - twenty first century family excursions at its finest.
When circumstances turn to shit or there is an event I'm absent from home sickness can be a more intricate feeling to shun. Embarking overseas at eighteen meant I was deprived of experiencing uni life, I still hold my 'O week' virginity (drinking for a week straight for the older audience), I've missed three family Christmas seafood feasts and I advise everyone my siblings are twelve as a result of poor attendance to their birthdays prior to sweet sixteen. While away numerous friends have graduated (congratulations, I honestly don't know how you survived and I'm sure you don't either), had their 21st banger and even been married or become engaged. I willingly sacrificed all these factors when making the commitment to travelling. To the comments of 'I wish I had your life', everything comes with a consequence but it's your decision as to what that will be. But whilst I'm confident Beyonce dedicated single ladies to me, my educational achievements are limited to high school, and the term 'savings' is alienated, my heart is full on travel lust and I see this being a long term relationship.
R x
